Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sleeping used to be just for dreaming, now it's a stage for waking nightmares too. 😴🚫 #StayWoke, even in your sleep! 😂"

commentary, good, good night, humor, issues, modern, modern issues, night, sleep, societal, societal commentary, woke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

0

2 months ago

care, family, humor, hygiene, kids, late, less, management, parenting, personal, personal hygiene, running, running late, somewhere, time, time management
Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

0

2 months ago

cartoon, doo, ghost, ghosts, human, humor, joke, mystery, scooby, Scooby Doo, smell
One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

0

4 months ago

disappointment, expectation, humor, most, severe, things, thunderstorm, warning, weather
I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

0

2 months ago

attention, here, humiliation, joke, likes, media, myself, self-esteem, social, social media, validation, worth
“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

0

2 months ago

AI, creativity, digital, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, technology, tell
I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

0

2 months ago

competition, creativity, diss, diss track, expression, going, hate, humor, i, love, much, music, personalization, poetry, rivalry, take, track, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Discord this month:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

66 shares on Slack this month:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Just shared via Facebook:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Live now on Twitch:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Making waves on Snapchat:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Just landed via X:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨