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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Just shared via Pinterest:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Going viral on YouTube:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Going bananas on Reddit:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Freshly posted on X:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Just shared via WeChat:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Just shared via TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Trending via TikTok:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Making waves on Messenger:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about ketchup bottles, highlighting the humorous inevitability of full or empty containers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life is like a ketchup bottle – you're either drowning in condiments or desperately trying to scrape out the last drop 🍅♨️ Embrace the saucy chaos and always be prepared for the unexpected condiment crises in your kitchen! 😂🌭"

bottle, condiment, empty, food, food humor, full, home, house, humor, in-between, ketchup

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

62 shares on X this month:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

47 shares on Threads this month:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Going viral on Telegram:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Going viral on Slack:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Going viral on Twitch:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Trending via Threads:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Seen just now on Facebook:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

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