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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

24 minutes ago

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Reported on Discord:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Spotted on Discord:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Trending via YouTube:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Making waves on X:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Making waves on TikTok:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Jan 20, 2025

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate race to the inbox! 🏁 Will you be the trailblazer in this brave new world of nudie selfies, or will you take your time to craft the perfect angle? 📸 Either way, embrace this historic opportunity with camera-ready confidence! 🤳😂"

chance, flirt, humor, me, nude, nudes, person, send

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

24 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Trending via Discord:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Spotted on Slack:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Seen just now on Discord:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Making waves on Messenger:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Shared recently on Messenger:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Spotted on Twitch:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Reported on Instagram:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

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