Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,807

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Spotted on Facebook:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Breaking via WeChat:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Seen just now on X:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Going viral on Instagram:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

2 months ago

0

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when the internet and landline phones had to battle it out for attention in households! 🕸️☎️ Talk about a power struggle between being connected online and being connected through a phone call. Imagine the chaos when someone wanted to Google something while someone else urgently needed to call grandma! 😂 #InternetNostalgia

beginning, call, communication, following, i, internet, need, nostalgia, technology, web

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

0

1 month ago

better, buy, came, castle, differences, everyone, humor, imagine, me, much, set, together, unity, world
I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

0

1 month ago

break, dating, humor, love, need, relationship, sarcasm, sorry, soul, soulmate, witty
You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

0

2 months ago

ask, back, expectation, funny situation, humor, i, joke, mad, massage, meatball, roll, situation, surprise, Swedish, Swedish massage
Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

0

2 months ago

every, falafel, food, fun, humor, language, pun, sound, wishes, word
Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

0

2 months ago

90, doctor, eye, eye doctor, eyesight, health, humor, joke, right, test, vision, vision test
My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

0

1 month ago

another, charger, everyday, everyday struggle, exaggeration, frustration, help, humor, item, lying, missing, missing item, phone, phone charger, room, struggle, tech, tech frustration

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

87 shares on Discord this month:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,783

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Going viral on Facebook:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Trending via Facebook:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Seen just now on WeChat:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Just landed via Discord:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Spotted on Facebook:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

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