New funny conversation jokes

• Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

• I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

• Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

• Easy there, unsaved number.

• Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

• Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

• I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

• One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

• Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

• “Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Top funny conversation jokes

• People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

• If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

• The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

• It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

• There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

• I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

• If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

• Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

• Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

• Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Popular funny conversation jokes

• “So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

• Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

• Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

• The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

• Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

• There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

• I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

• Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

• My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

• I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

More funny conversation jokes

• Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

• My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

• I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

• “Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

• I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

• My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

• For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

• Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

• I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

• Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Witty conversation jokes

• You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

• Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

• Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

• “I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

• I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

• Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

• You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

• I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

• No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

• “That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.