New funny good jokes

• Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

• Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

• Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

• Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

• A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

• Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

• I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

• Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

• Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

• I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Top funny good jokes

• Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

• Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

• I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

• Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

• Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

• I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

• Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

• Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

• (Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

• Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Popular funny good jokes

• When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

• A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

• Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

• “I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

• “Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

• Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

• They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

• What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

• “I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

• Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

More funny good jokes

• Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

• I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

• Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

• All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

• Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

• Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

• Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

• One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

• Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

• Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Witty good jokes

• I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

• Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

• Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

• Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

• A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

• I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

• Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

• I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

• I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

• The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.