Funny meet jokes prove that introductions—whether awkward, unexpected, or over-the-top—can be laugh-out-loud funny 😅🤝😂. From cringe-worthy handshakes and misremembered names to hilariously bad small talk and accidental faux pas, funny meet jokes capture the comedy in meeting people ✨🤯. Whether it’s a first date, a job interview, or bumping into strangers, meeting always brings humor 🎭🤣.
New funny meet jokes
- Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?
- If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.
- Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.
- There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.
- Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.
- You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.
- You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.
- Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.
- Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.
- You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?
Top funny meet jokes
- Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.
- I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.
- The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.
- Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!
- The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.
- Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.
- If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.
- Have you ever met the human version of a headache?
- I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.
- Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Popular funny meet jokes
- Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.
- All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.
- When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.
- A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.
- I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.
- When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.
- By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.
- So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.
- Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?
- Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”
More funny meet jokes
- Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.
- If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.
- Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!
- The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.
- Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.
- The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”
- I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.
- A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.
- I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.
- At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.
Witty meet jokes
- Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.
- If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.
- Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.
- I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.
- Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.
- I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.
- At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!
- Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).
- The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?
- Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.
Funny meet jokes remind us that awkward greetings, mistaken identities, and unexpected encounters often make the best laughs 😆💬. From social blunders to hilarious introductions, first meetings are comedy gold 😂✨. Share these jokes, enjoy the chaos, and embrace the hilariously unpredictable side of meeting new people 🤣💫.