New funny mental health jokes

• It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

• “You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

• Therapy? I have Spotify.

• Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

• At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

• I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

• Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

• Social media is mental suicide.

• Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

• Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Top funny mental health jokes

• Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

• Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

• Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

• I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

• “I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

• Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

• If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

• Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

• (Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

• I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Popular funny mental health jokes

• “I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

• Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

• Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

• At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

• I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

• I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

• I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

• Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

• If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

• Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

More funny mental health jokes

• All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

• Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

• I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

• If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

• I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

• Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

• Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

• Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

• “You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

• Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Witty mental health jokes

• It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

• Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

• Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

• A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

• Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

• I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

• I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

• My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

• My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

• Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.