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50+ Funny Mess Jokes That Turn Chaos into Comedy

Funny mess jokes prove that life’s spills, clutter, and chaos can be downright entertaining 😅🌀😂. From messy kitchens and tangled cords to overstuffed closets and catastrophic DIY projects, funny mess jokes capture the hilarity in our attempts to keep things under control ✨🤯. Whether you embrace the chaos or just survive it, messes always seem to have a funny side 🎭🤣.

New funny mess jokes

  • Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.
  • My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.
  • If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.
  • I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.
  • I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.
  • Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.
  • From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.
  • I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.
  • Pomegranates are worth the mess.
  • I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Top funny mess jokes

  • Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.
  • Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.
  • Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.
  • I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?
  • I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.
  • You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.
  • If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
  • Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.
  • I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.
  • Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?
  • Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.
  • Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.
  • Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.
  • I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.
  • At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.
  • Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.
  • I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.
  • You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.
  • Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”
  • I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

More funny mess jokes

  • I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.
  • That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.
  • My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.
  • The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.
  • Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.
  • I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.
  • Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.
  • Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.
  • That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.
  • Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Witty mess jokes

  • My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.
  • The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.
  • I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.
  • I put the mess in domestic.
  • Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.
  • Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.
  • I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?
  • Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.
  • Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.
  • My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Funny mess jokes remind us that clutter, accidents, and general disorder often create the best laughs 😆📦. From sticky situations to epic fails, life’s messes are comedy gold waiting to happen 😂✨. Share these jokes, embrace the chaos, and enjoy the hilariously messy side of everyday life 🤣💫.

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