New funny motivation jokes

• If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

• They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

• I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

• I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

• Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

• Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

• The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

• Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

• This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

• The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Top funny motivation jokes

• “Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

• Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

• Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

• “I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

• Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

• Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

• Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

• Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

• It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

• Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Popular funny motivation jokes

• It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

• If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

• If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

• I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

• Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

• If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

• If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

• Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

• I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

• Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

More funny motivation jokes

• The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

• Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

• The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

• Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

• I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

• It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

• May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

• My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

• Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

• I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Witty motivation jokes

• No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

• I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

• I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

• When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

• I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

• Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

• My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

• We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

• Tuesday is no better than Monday.

• I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.