50+ Funny Relationships Quotes That Reveal The Comedy Behind Love And Drama

New funny relationships quotes

• Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

• Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

• The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

• If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

• First, they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

• Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

• Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

• I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

• I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

• The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Top funny relationships quotes

• The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

• Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

• Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

• God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

• I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

• I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

• My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

• “Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

• I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

• I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Popular funny relationships quotes

• No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

• The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

• Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

• Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

• I’m running out of people I like.

• Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

• Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

• Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

• No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

• Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

More funny relationships quotes

• If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

• Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

• What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

• They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

• Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

• We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

• My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

• You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

• I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

• To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Witty relationships quotes

• The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

• Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

• “You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

• Men make it so easy to hate them.

• Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

• I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

• Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

• Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

• Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

• I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Funny relationships quotes remind us that while relationships take work 🧹, they also provide endless material for laughter 🤣. Whether it’s quirky habits 🤷‍♂️, odd conversations 🗣️, or those “did you really just say that?” moments 🙃, relationships thrive on humor. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s navigated the ups, downs, and hilarious in-betweens of love 💕. So cherish the laughs, embrace the drama, and keep enjoying the comedy that comes with every relationship 🤪!