When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.