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If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

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Took a good look at my finances. I wonโ€™t make that mistake again.

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It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

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For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

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Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

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The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

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If you see me in public, itโ€™s AI.

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Are they honking at me because Iโ€™m cute or because I canโ€™t drive.

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My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

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I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

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You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Commentary:
Oh, so the back seat is the new Grassy Knoll now, huh? ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’ฅ Who would have thought a seating arrangement could be so controversial? ๐Ÿ˜‚ Just watch out for any suspicious-looking umbrella holders, okay? โ˜‚๏ธ #BackSeatConspiracy



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