I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.