Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn sheโ€™s complicated.

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn sheโ€™s complicated.

Commentary:
“Maybe it’s time to add ‘Calculus’ to the list of potential baby names! 🤔📚 Who knew math could be so relatable? 😂 #DadJokes”

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

  • Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

    Commentary:
    “Sound advice: Take your medicine and avoid mini humans – nobody wants a headache, especially not from mischievous kiddos! 🤕💊👶”

  • Several of my internal organs hurt, but Iโ€™m 100% sure itโ€™s not my body trying to tell me something.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the classic tale of internal organ rebellion! 🤣 It’s like your body’s playing a game of charades, but with a painful twist! 🤕 Don’t worry, it’s probably just your organs throwing a little party in there without inviting you. 🎉 Just remind them who’s the boss with some self-care and a good laugh! 😅

  • The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

    Commentary:
    “Me: *clocks out at 5pm* 💼🚪 Coworker: Where are you going? Me: On a permanent holiday… in my mind! 🏝️💭 #WorkEthicOnVacation”

  • If I were you, I would rather be me.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs to be anyone else when you can be the fabulous, one-of-a-kind YOU? 💁🏻‍♀️ Embrace your awesomeness and own it like a boss! 🌟 #UniqueAndProud”

  • Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

    Commentary:
    Oh, absolutely! I can already imagine the title: “Tutorial Tuesday: How to Slay with Sophistication”. 💁‍♀️💄 Let’s see those influencers swapping contouring tips for conversational finesse! Who needs a fierce winged eyeliner when you can rock a killer ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ combo? 💁‍♂️✨ #MannersMakeover

  • Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

    Commentary:
    “If only all problems could be solved with a hug, coffee, and a million dollars! Who needs therapy when you’ve got caffeine and cash, right? Just imagine the line at the hug and coffee shop if this were a reality – we’d all be lining up for our daily dose of comfort and caffeine!”