Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

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“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

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Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

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Can’t, holding a grudge.

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Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

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It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

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Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

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The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

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If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.