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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Freshly posted on Slack:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Just shared via X:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Making waves on Reddit:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Trending via Facebook:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Spotted on YouTube:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Spotted on Instagram:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about the challenges of erectile dysfunction with a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Must be tough not being able to stand up to the occasion 😏🍆 #gettingtotherootoftheproblem"

dysfunction, erectile, erectile dysfunction, hard, having, humor, intimacy, relationship, struggle

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Just landed via Instagram:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Spotted on Reddit:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Trending via Reddit:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Seen just now on X:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Making waves on TikTok:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨