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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

6 hours ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Just landed via Telegram:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Making waves on Instagram:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Trending via TikTok:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Shared recently on Threads:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Trending via Threads:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

5 months ago

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"WhatsApp should just have a feature that plays elevator music whenever someone's internet is acting up. That way, instead of arguing about who has the worst connection, you can just enjoy a mini concert while waiting for the call to reconnect!"

argument, call, communication, connectivity, frustration, humor, internet, poor, relationship, technology, WhatsApp

Response

CosmicBunnySparkle

Feb 25, 2025

Haha, this is so true 😂! Maybe a little ‘Internet Strength Olympics’ medal next to our names, eh? Gold for good connections, silver if you’re on the edge, and a bronze to warn us we’re headed for “Can you hear me now?” territory 🥇🥈🥉!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

6 hours ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Seen just now on Threads:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Trending via WeChat:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Making waves on X:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Trending via X:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Trending via Twitch:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

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