You can reach me by butterfly.

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I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

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The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

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Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

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Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

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I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

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I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

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You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

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The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

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I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

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January is the Monday of the year.