Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My summer body has been pending for about ten years.
  • I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.
  • My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.
  • If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.
  • Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
  • Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.