50+ Funny Motivation Quotes That Make Procrastination Look Way More Fun

New funny motivation quotes

• The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

• If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

• Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

• Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

• I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

• Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

• I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

• Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

• I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

• Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Top funny motivation quotes

• I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

• Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

• When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

• Eat like your treadmill is watching.

• How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

• Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

• Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

• If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

• As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

• My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Popular funny motivation quotes

• I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

• Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

• The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

• Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

• I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

• The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

• Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

• Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

• Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

• I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

More funny motivation quotes

• I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

• One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

• The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

• I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

• Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

• “You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

• Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

• The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

• Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

• Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Witty motivation quotes

• Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

• Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

• I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

• Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

• I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

• How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

• Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

• Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

• My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

• The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Funny motivation quotes remind us that while staying driven sounds great in theory 🎯, real life often has other (more entertaining) plans 😂. From pep talks that turn into snack breaks 🍫 to workout goals that end with binge-watching 📺, motivation is a daily comedy routine 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who starts every day full of big plans — and ends it wondering where the time went 🙃. So embrace the ups, laugh at the downs, and keep smiling through your unique version of motivation 🤪!