New funny online quotes

• The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

• My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

• That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

• The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

• Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

• I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

• Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

• *Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

• Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

• Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Top funny online quotes

• There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

• Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

• I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

• I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

• I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

• I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

• Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

• I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

• I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

• If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Popular funny online quotes

• “You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

• Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

• If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

• Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

• It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

• The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

• If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

• “I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

• Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

• Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

More funny online quotes

• Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

• I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

• Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

• Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

• I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

• Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

• I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

• Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

• I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

• Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Witty online quotes

• The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

• The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

• I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

• I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

• Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

• Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

• Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

• Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

• We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

• “You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Funny online quotes remind us that the internet may be useful, but it’s also a never-ending comedy circus 🎪. Whether it’s falling into meme rabbit holes 🐇, sending texts you immediately regret 📩, or binge-watching videos you never planned to watch 📺, online life is packed with laugh-out-loud moments 🤣. These quotes are perfect for anyone who knows they spend way too much time online — but wouldn’t have it any other way 🙃. So embrace the scrolling, laugh at the chaos, and enjoy the funny side of being online 🤪!