The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.