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Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

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Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

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If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

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If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

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No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

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My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

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Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

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When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

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Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

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Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.