BOISE—In a shocking revelation, scientists at the Boise Institute for Emotional Research confirmed that local man Daniel Simmons, 38, has been in a bad mood since 2010. “Our data suggests that Daniel’s last genuine smile occurred sometime shortly before the rise of social media,” reported Dr. Lisa Fargo. “We suspect Instagram likes can’t compete with the joy of simpler times.”

Family and friends have noticed the change, attributing Simmons’ irritable demeanor to external factors. “He was all sunshine and rainbows before smartphones,” noted his younger sister, Katie. “Now, you mention hashtags, and he grunts like an unamused walrus. We’ve resorted to showing him cute puppy videos like it’s some kind of mood palliative.”

Despite the dismal findings, locals are optimistic. “We’ve launched a community initiative to bring Daniel out of his funk,” explained neighbor Tom Jefferies. “Activities include flip phone challenges and social media blackout parties. Plus, we heard he cracked a smile watching VHS tapes—it’s like a modern miracle.”