PORTLAND—Local resident and self-proclaimed weekend enthusiast, Steve Lang, expressed astonishment upon learning that Sunday evening also marks the beginning of what appears to be ‘week beginning’. “It’s like finding out your favorite movie has a lesser-known sequel,” said Lang, admitting most of his week is spent eagerly anticipating Friday.

The revelation sparked a surge of creativity in Lang, who now plans to host his own ‘Mini-Weekend Wednesday’ parties complete with drink specials and unsolicited exhaustion stories. “Why limit fun to two days?” Lang philosophized, claiming that halfway through Tuesday, the week already starts feeling unjustly lengthy.

Amidst growing concerns from family, Lang’s employer has praised his newfound outlook as he frequently arrives at work in ‘post-mini-weekend hibernation mode’, ready to barely produce until the actual weekend naturally resets the cycle.