SCRANTON—In a brave bid to face his romantic demons, local man Fred Grant has founded a support group for “people whose crushes didn’t just fizzle out, they combusted.” “It’s tough,” said Fred, adding he lost track of how many infatuations he’s mourned. “People move on from ex-girlfriends, but ex-crushes? That’s the real baggage.”

Grant’s group quickly grew, drawing in scores of disillusioned attendees. “The wounds don’t heal,” participant Carla Diaz lamented. “I once caught feelings during a two-minute elevator ride and haven’t been the same since.” The group meets weekly to swap tales of unreciprocated affection and misread signals, fueling further “petty pangs of lost opportunities,” as one admitted.

To commemorate each forgotten love, the group performs “symbolic deletion” of text conversations that never transpired. “We’ve even managed to memorialize that fleeting Quasimodo-like glance from across the coffee shop,” Fred proudly shared. Future plans include emotional scavenger hunts to rediscover “all those sliding door moments that never slid.”