BENDIGO—Locally conducted research reveals non-existent male partners rank almost as high on the stress scale as actual ones. “I pretend he leaves the toilet seat up,” lamented single local Karen Downes. Many like Downes reportedly invent grievances just to prepare for future relationships.

Experts noted how imaginary partners somehow demand the exact amount of mental energy as real ones. “Not dating, and I’m already blaming hypothetical him for leaving dishes,” said participant Sandra Lee.

The study concluded further stress emerges from societal pressure to “hallucinate a functioning boyfriend.” Researchers suggest manifesting an invisibly courteous partner could revolutionize the mental well-being of singles globally, despite possible side effects of talking to empty rooms.