BOISE—A baffling outbreak of non-stop evening flatulence has left residents in varying states of distress. “I’ve checked the fridge three times, but it seems I don’t have a cheese-based culprit,” reported Rodney Matthews as his 8 pm symphony began. Citizens across the city are pleading for answers, with many turning to social media under the guise of ‘asking for a friend.’

Health officials are scrambling to unveil the enigma, officially naming it the “Tootin’ Twilight Syndrome.” Local gas analyst, Dr. Petra Huff, warned residents about an upcoming ‘white noise warning.’ “At this point, your best protection is earplugs and a prayer,” she commented, referring to the gaseous cacophony primed to fill the air.

Meanwhile, yoga studios have reported a sharp increase in enrollment as citizens attempt holistic approaches, such as ‘release-focused’ twerking classes. Harold Jenkins, a participant who still isn’t sure what twerking involves, confessed, “I came for the yoga, but stayed for the bass.” Authorities assure the public that a scientific breakthrough is imminent, pending a test of the airwave alarm system.