BUFFALO—Brad Whitaker, 32, stunned friends and family during dinner Sunday by announcing he is fervently optimistic in a pessimistic way. “I wake up each morning expecting the worst, which means it can only get better,” Whitaker explained, beaming.

“You see, being pessimistically optimistic keeps me grounded,” continued Whitaker, who insists on putting motivational posters in his basement. “You just never know when the roof might cave in.”

While many found Whitaker’s philosophy perplexing, he remains steadfast. “I plan for disasters optimistically,” he assured, as he double-checked his emergency bunker supplies. “You never know when the sunny apocalypse might arrive, so always have sunscreen in your prep kit.”