PORTLAND—Transforming the art of inactivity into a wellness trend, Harold McVeigh announced his groundbreaking ‘Selective Participation’ workout routine Wednesday. ‘Lazy is such an ugly word,’ McVeigh asserted while reclining on his couch, adding, ‘I prefer to think of it as strategic energy conservation.’ Friends noted this philosophy profoundly impacts his daily life.

McVeigh revealed that his regimen involves watching intense workout videos for motivation. ‘The intensity really gets to you,’ he explained, biting into a donut. ‘You burn calories just from the emotional engagement,’ he claimed, as his heart briefly fluttered at a kettlebell’s swing on screen.

Experts say McVeigh’s approach could redefine exercise norms. Gym owner Tim Nutt remarked, ‘Harold’s onto something.’ Nutt plans to adopt McVeigh’s methods by placing comfy couches and big screens in his gym. ‘People will exercise in their minds, but we still require them to pay real membership fees,’ he chuckled.