TULSA—In a groundbreaking study, economists have revealed that chicken nuggets are the new footwear. “For $300, you can buy hundreds of nuggets,” said Dr. Helen Goodwin. “That’s enough protein to power you through several marathons sans shoes.”

The study indicates a cultural shift. “Who needs Nike when you have nugget?” quipped local resident Robert Anders, noting that his feet felt more supported by the caloric intake than any sneaker sole.

Responding to the research, major shoe brands are considering expansion into the culinary sector. “Why lace up when you can sauce up?” pondered a puzzled Adidas executive, hinting at a possible nugget-cushioned sneaker featuring real BBQ insert soles.