PORTLAND—In a groundbreaking discovery about personal compatibility, local man Gary Plunkett suggested his immense popularity stems from a cosmic aquatic bond. “If you like water, you already like 72% of me,” said Plunkett, who believes his water-based charm is undeniable.

Friends were initially baffled by Gary’s revelation. “He’s always around during pool parties like some water-based prophet,” noted classmate Jerry Sands.

Science circles remain skeptical. “Though unsubstantiated, it’s a wet idea in dry conversation,” stated sociologist Dr. Lisa Falwater. Meanwhile, Plunkett plans to launch a dating app called ‘SplashMatch’ to capitalize on his fluid theory.