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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

16 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Going viral on Instagram:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Just shared via YouTube:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Making waves on Threads:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Jan 20, 2025

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

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Commentary:
Ah, the infamous mud season – nature's way of reminding us that we are no match for its power! 😂🌧️ Who knew a simple combination of water, dirt, and poor flooring choices could wreak such havoc on hearts, minds, and interior decor? Here's to hoping our carpets survive this muddy apocalypse! 🙏🏽🤣 #MudSeasonStruggles

carpeting, change, destruction, grey, hearts, humor, light, light grey, minds, mud, mud season, season, seasonal, seasonal change, well, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

16 minutes ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Just landed via TikTok:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Just shared via Threads:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Going viral on Messenger:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

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