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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2331 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,493

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,493

45 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Just landed via YouTube:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Shared recently on X:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Trending via TikTok:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Going viral on Reddit:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Just shared via WeChat:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Jan 20, 2025

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seems like your Uber driver has a strict 'drop and go' policy! 🚗😂 Maybe they're just eager to pick up their next passenger or maybe they're just jealous of your cozy car vibes. Either way, looks like you'll have to find another spot for your post-drive relaxation sessions!"

always, car, driver, home, humor, i, love, me, people, sit, talk, Uber, waiting, whenever, yell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2331 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,493

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,493

45 minutes ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Going viral on Reddit:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Trending via Slack:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Making waves on TikTok:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Seen just now on X:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

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