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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

44 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Just shared via Messenger:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Reported on Telegram:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Reported on WeChat:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Trending via WhatsApp:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Breaking via Instagram:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Going viral on X:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Jan 20, 2025

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
It's funny how something as simple as the sun setting can lead to the creation of the concept of a "day." 😄 Talk about drawing quick conclusions! Those first Humans must have been like, "Well, the sun's done its thing, guess it's time to hit the hay!" 🌞🛌 #DayCalledBySun

back, call, day, humans, humor, language, light, observation, sun, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

44 minutes ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Breaking via Slack:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Just shared via Reddit:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Spotted on YouTube:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Spotted on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Making waves on Reddit:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

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