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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from has shared:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from has copied:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from has shared:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from has shared:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from has downloaded:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from has shared:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from has downloaded:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from has viewed:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from has copied:

Earth is hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Trending via Twitch:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Making waves on Messenger:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Going viral on WeChat:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Trending via Discord:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Spotted on Twitch:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

6 months ago

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Commentary:
"Who needs rejection from a man when even your dog's like, 'Nah, I'm out' 🤣🐶 #dogloyalty #rejectedbyboth"

advances, bed, companionship, dog, every, humor, hurt, i, man, me, rejection, relationships, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from has shared:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from has viewed:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from has shared:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from has viewed:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from has viewed:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Someone from has bookmarked:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from has viewed:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from has bookmarked:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Reported on Threads:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Trending via Messenger:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Activity Log ✨

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

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