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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2025 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,187

Funny Quotes Topics

14,938

Funny Quotes Images

12,187

2 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Going viral on X:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Spotted on Twitch:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Just shared via YouTube:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Making waves on Reddit:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Just shared via Instagram:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

6 months ago

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Introducing the latest dating app sensation for the bashful and reserved – Mumble! 🤐💕 Who needs smooth-talking charmers when you can connect with someone through awkward silences and shy smiles? Swipe right and let the mumbling magic begin! 😉✨#ShyAndReadyToMingle #MumbleOnIndeed

app, dating, dating app, humor, interaction, introvert, mumble, people, relationships, shy, social, social interaction, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2025 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,187

Funny Quotes Topics

14,938

Funny Quotes Images

12,187

2 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Freshly posted on X:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Breaking via Threads:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Live now on Threads:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Spotted on YouTube:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Making waves on Twitch:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Trending via X:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Seen just now on Discord:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

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