Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.