Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.
  • I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.
  • I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.
  • The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.
  • Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.
  • Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.