BRISBANE—Amid growing public concern, health officials have issued a new mandate urging citizens to hoard condoms as the official ‘Idiot Season’ approaches. “Stockpiling is crucial. Think of it like seasonal food supplies, but for idiots,” said Dr. Rob Smythe, Chief of Preventive Foolishness.

Experts recommend tripling your usual condom reserves. “Avoid the risk of contributing to the next batch of dolts,” advised statistician Carla Vega, who warns of a forecasted 30% increase if recommendations are ignored.

The new initiative has sparked debate. “Some blame our schools, but we say it’s an annual breeding cycle,” responded Mayor Nigel Trout. Reports confirm several local pharmacies have already replaced sunscreen stands with ‘Idiot Prevention Kits’.