After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.