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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,228

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Just landed via WeChat:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Trending via Instagram:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Just landed via Discord:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Shared recently on X:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Live now on YouTube:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

0
An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.
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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the unmistakable sound of adulthood – a symphony of creaks and cracks! 🎶💥 Standing up is no longer a silent action, but a declaration of our presence in the world. Here's to all the noisy ninjas out there mastering the art of making a grand entrance with every rise! 🕺🔊 #NoisyAdulting"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Facebook this month:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

61 shares on X this month:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,720

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Spotted on TikTok:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Just shared via Messenger:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

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