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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

15 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Live now on X:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Going viral on Discord:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Spotted on Instagram:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Shared recently on Threads:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Trending via Pinterest:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

6 months ago

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the unmistakable sound of adulthood – a symphony of creaks and cracks! 🎶💥 Standing up is no longer a silent action, but a declaration of our presence in the world. Here's to all the noisy ninjas out there mastering the art of making a grand entrance with every rise! 🕺🔊 #NoisyAdulting"

adult, age, humor, life, noise, person, stand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

15 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Trending via Facebook:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Going viral on WeChat:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Trending via Reddit:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Trending via Slack:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

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