And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I'm really disappointed in you.

Commentary:
“Oh, the audacity of a day starting without a red carpet! 🙄 Clearly, the paparazzi missed the memo! Better luck tomorrow, superstar! ⭐️📸 #AListProblems”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

    Commentary:
    “Isn’t it amusing how bacon isn’t baked, and cookies aren’t cooked? 🥓🍪 It’s like the culinary world is playing a game of word swap with us! Maybe someone should remind bacon to ‘get out of the oven,’ and cookies to ‘sizzle’ in the pan! 😄🍳 #FoodForThought”

  • I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a loop when you can dance in circles of your own making? 💃🕺 Exit the loop like a boss and create your own funky groove! 🌀😎 #OutOfTheLoopAndLovingIt”

  • Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

    Commentary:
    Oh, playing the long game is just like Monopoly – except instead of hotels and houses, it’s all about adulting and making important life choices! 🎲💼 Don’t forget to pass “Go” and collect a sense of accomplishment along the way! 😉

  • I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

    Commentary:
    “Blood pressure kits: when the struggle to fit everything back in that tiny zip-up bag becomes the real test of your cardiovascular endurance. 💼😂 #ZipItRealGood”

  • Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

    Commentary:
    “Looking for some killer deals, huh? Better watch out for those cults, they might have some ‘killer’ estate sales planned! 👀💰 Just make sure you don’t accidentally sign up for their next pyramid scheme… or pyramid tomb? 🏛️😂 #EstateSaleGoals”

  • Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, it’s cheaper to buy a new set of bones than to fix a broken heart! 💔💪 Breakups just got a whole lot more practical! #BoneStrong”