And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.