Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Trending via Threads:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Spotted on Facebook:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Going viral on Telegram:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Breaking via Facebook:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

2 months ago

0

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the joys of trying to explain city life to parents! 🌆🗽 It's like a marathon of geography lessons every time they see something on TV and assume it's happening right next to you. 🏃‍♂️🗺️ Hang in there, Mom, New York may be big but my street isn't THAT happening! 😂🌃

another, big, big city, city, day, explaining, family, footage, humor, mom, new, New York, saw, shot, street, york

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

0

5 months ago

change, Cinderella, credit, credit score, finance, financial, financial joke, humor, i, joke, life, life change, night, night out, nightlife, personal, personal finance, score, spending
When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

0

2 months ago

attraction, dating, desire, dress, fashion, humor, nice, taking, taking off, think, thrill
On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

0

2 months ago

end, entertainment, getting, humor, i, irony, know, movie, nostalgia, observation, over, people, put, remember, screen, smart, smarter, whole
Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

0

2 months ago

dating, found, humor, maybe, reason, romance, sarcasm, soul, soulmate, wit
Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

0

2 months ago

being, compatibility, humor, irony, lesson, mean, relationship, socks, teach, together
Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

0

2 months ago

another, big, big city, city, day, explaining, family, footage, humor, mom, new, New York, saw, shot, street, york

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

32 shares on Slack this month:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

18 shares on Discord this month:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Live now on Reddit:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Going viral on Slack:

I am half agony, half hope.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Seen just now on Slack:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Just shared via Facebook:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Live now on X:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴