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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

17 minutes ago

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Spotted on Twitch:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Making waves on Messenger:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Going viral on TikTok:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Just landed via Threads:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

6 months ago

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

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Commentary:
"Looking for some killer deals, huh? Better watch out for those cults, they might have some 'killer' estate sales planned! 👀💰 Just make sure you don't accidentally sign up for their next pyramid scheme… or pyramid tomb? 🏛️😂 #EstateSaleGoals"

anytime, cult, estate, estate sale, good, good time, humor, plan, planned, sale, sales, something, soon, time, trying, wild, wild plan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

17 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Going viral on Messenger:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Breaking via Slack:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Just landed via Telegram:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Spotted on Discord:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Just landed via Facebook:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Going viral on Slack:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

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