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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Live now on YouTube:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Breaking via Slack:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Spotted on YouTube:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Going bananas on Slack:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

2 months ago

0

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looking for some killer deals, huh? Better watch out for those cults, they might have some 'killer' estate sales planned! 👀💰 Just make sure you don't accidentally sign up for their next pyramid scheme… or pyramid tomb? 🏛️😂 #EstateSaleGoals"

anytime, cult, estate, estate sale, good, good time, humor, plan, planned, sale, sales, something, soon, time, trying, wild, wild plan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

0

2 months ago

better, communication, humor, left, media, platform, secret, social, social media, things, unsaid, x
If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

0

2 months ago

God, humor, irony, know, money, people, perspective, want, wealth
I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, behavior, bottle, enough, everyone, getting, humor, i, ibuprofen, medicine, painkiller, pull, rude, rude behavior, sharing, where
I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

0

2 weeks ago

budgeting, finance, hate, humor, i, lose, math, me, money, personal, personal finance, self blame, spending, where
I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

0

4 months ago

belief, believe, Bigfoot, creature, humor, i, me, mutual, mutual belief, mythical, mythical creature
If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

0

2 months ago

award, else, home, homebody, humor, ID, laziness, me, pick, pick-up, procrastination, send, someone, staying, staying at home, win

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Just shared via TikTok:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Making waves on YouTube:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Just landed via Reddit:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Spotted on Twitch:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

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