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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Spotted on Telegram:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Going viral on Telegram:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Trending via Slack:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Making waves on Twitch:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Breaking via TikTok:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about early-morning bird fight club outside a window.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
It sounds like those early bird gangs are really ruffling some feathers in the neighborhood! 🐦💥 Maybe they're just trying to start their day with a little tweet-ment before the sun rises. Just make sure they don't start charging for ringside seats! 🕊️🥊🌅

bird, club, early, early morning, fight, fight club, funny observation, humor, meetings, morning, observation, outside, wildlife, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

42 shares on X this month:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

16 shares on X this month:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Live now on Discord:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Just shared via Messenger:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Breaking via Twitch:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Spotted on Instagram:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Going viral on X:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

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