Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

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Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

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For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

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Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.