BUFFALO—Aspiring fitness enthusiast Todd Ellis is caught in a painful struggle between achieving his dream physique and indulging in his favorite culinary delight. “I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings,” lamented Ellis, brushing aside the celery stick his trainer offered as a substitute.

Ellis recently joined ‘Biceps & BBQ,’ a unique gym that integrates cardio circuits with sauce-drenched wing stations. “It’s all about balance,” said the gym’s owner, who was seen licking buffalo sauce off a treadmill. “We’re the only gym where you can bench press and binge-eat simultaneously.”

In a shocking twist, Ellis discovered that his intense craving might be due to scientifically engineered wings with addictive properties. “I’m stuck between a rock-hard six-pack and a pack of six wings,” he groaned, reconsidering the seductive allure of actual dietary discipline versus eating 3,000 calories of glazed temptation on cheat days.