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Commentary:
"Who knows, maybe the zombies are just misunderstood romantics searching for their soulmates, or the aliens could be intergalactic matchmakers on a mission to find you love! 👽💖🧟‍♂️ Never say never when it comes to cosmic love connections!"

alien, dating, expectation, humor, i, irony, life, love, meet, point, relationship, sure, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

1 month ago
am, artificial, authentic, authenticity, humor, i, intelligence, irony, opposite, self-deprecation, stupidity
Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

2 months ago
communication, days, definitely, humor, life, married, married life, me, misunderstanding, never, only, partner, relationship, repetition, row, same, say, sentence, telling, told
Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

1 month ago
asking, awareness, battle, conversation, drinking, empathy, every, fighting, health, humor, know, meet, nothing, person, support, water, worse
Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

1 month ago
bit, blowing, blowing up, humor, joke, just, nobody, self-destruction, should, technology, Tesla, wait
“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

3 months ago
actually, appearance, beauty, confidence, excuse, humor, pretty, too
Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

1 month ago
aspiration, career, freedom, having, humor, job, passion, quitting, true

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Trending via TikTok:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Just shared via Facebook:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Spotted on Facebook:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Spotted on YouTube:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

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At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

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At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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