Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Just shared via TikTok:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Spotted on Threads:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Spotted on Telegram:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Going viral on Instagram:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Live now on WeChat:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

0
Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Setting the mood for love…with a fast-paced chase theme? 🏃‍♂️🎶 Who needs smooth R&B when you've got the comedic chaos of Benny Hill to spice things up for some unexpected twists and turns in the babymaking playlist! 😂🎵"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

For whom the doom scrolls!

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, no.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Trending via Twitch:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Trending via Slack:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Making waves on YouTube:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴