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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Seen just now on Threads:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Spotted on TikTok:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Just landed via WeChat:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Making waves on YouTube:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Just landed via YouTube:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

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Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Setting the mood for love…with a fast-paced chase theme? 🏃‍♂️🎶 Who needs smooth R&B when you've got the comedic chaos of Benny Hill to spice things up for some unexpected twists and turns in the babymaking playlist! 😂🎵"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Instagram this month:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

54 shares on Slack this month:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

84 shares on Slack this month:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I disagree with my politics.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Making waves on Slack:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Making waves on Threads:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Making waves on Discord:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Live now on TikTok:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Making waves on YouTube:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Spotted on Messenger:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

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