Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Finally, a revolutionary innovation that might just change the world: A printer that actually PRINTS when you need it to 🖨️💸 Who would've thought such a simple concept could be worth billions?!"

billion, billion dollar, dollar, frustration, humor, idea, invention, printer, technology, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

5 days ago

animal, dog, gangsta, humor, patience, pet, poop, wait, waiting
Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

5 days ago

40s, age, aging, breath, breathlessness, fitness, humor, middle, middle age, run, running, sh, trying, welcome
Women are like apples; I like biting them.

5 days ago

apple, apples, biting, flirt, humor, i, joke, playful, teasing, women
My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

2 weeks ago

bagel, creativity, everything, everywhere, food, humor, joke, just, mess, parenting, son
Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

5 days ago

40s, actor, adult, adult humor, aging, best, bra, bras, humor, menopause, Oscar, role, support, supportive, welcome, women
I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

2 weeks ago

afford, affordability, comparison, door, humor, i, lids, open, Tupperware, vehicle, wing, wing door

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

17 shares on X this month:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

12 shares on Slack this month:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

74 shares on Discord this month:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

94 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Trending via Telegram:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Trending via Telegram:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Live now on Threads:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨